Self Portrait I65 x 65 cm, 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed
Self Portrait II65 x 65 cm, 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed
Self Portrait III55 x 65 cm, 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed
Self Portrait IV65 x 65 cm, 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed
Self Portrait V55 x 65 cm 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed
Self Portrait VI55 x 83 cm, 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed
Self Portrait VII55x 65 cm, 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed
Self Portrait VIII55 x 83 cm, 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed
Self Portrait IX55x 65 cm, 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed
Self Portrait X55x 65 cm, 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed
Self Portrait XI55x 83 cm, 2012, pigment print on aluminium, framed

THE STRANGERS


Suddenly I felt I was not alone. I was standing outside on a dark, cold morning in November. It was like a ghost had been very near, staring at me but I could not see it. The ghost was not evil, but silent and lonely. It was an uncomfortable company who I had avoided so far. That allusive experience started my fictional self-portrait studies. From the beginning, I knew that the ghost was not near - it was inside of me.

For many years, I had pondered reasons for my feeling of constant misplacement. Occasionally, I felt that I was a stranger, even within my own family and hometown. Alongside self-portrait studies I wanted to portray the feeling when a home feels like a scene. It was a time to confront that ghost. It meant facing the most fragile part of myself.

Helene Schjerfbeck painted herself affected by a fatal disease. Her self-portraits shattered during the years and when she was over eighty years old, there were more ghosts than women on the canvas. She was just a shadow of herself. Opposite of this, my image is on a process to become an entity. I am a combination of different contradictions, looking for a balance in the unstable, comfort in being astray. The narratives of each image compiles a totality of being a strong but vulnerable woman in a time and place, where personal questions about race or religion have lost their relevance. The identity is a synthesis of externals and traits, but also shifting from cold facts to false beliefs, from bright reflections to the deepest shadows.